The Seven Stages of Grief: Anger
Continues from previous page: The Seven Stages of Grief - First: Denial. They Dont Believe Me. This Page: Articles on Coping with Anger About Illness: Illness and Anger It’s OK To Feel Angry I Felt Angry About Being Ill Am I Allowed To Feel Angry? What Are The Benefits Of Feeling My Anger?
The Seven Stages of Grief: Stage 2 You can feel angry about being ill: You may feel anger about any of the losses that can accompany illness, such as loss of relationships, and loss of self-image. “I don't deserve this.” “But I have worked so hard only to lose everything.” You may feel anger that we do not receive understanding. “Why don't they understand I am ill? ” “Don't they know how ill I feel? ” “Don't they know how hard I try? ” You may feel anger that you can't get treatment for the illness. “Why can't I get the treatment I need? ” “I can't get the help I need to rest and recover.“
A Poem About Illness What Can I Do?Sometimes I push myself so hard I lose most of my vision, become even less tolerant to noise, feel nauseous with exhaustion, my nerves screaming too much to let me sleep. What can I do? I know the advice is to rest, but some things just need doing and I choose the lesser of two evils.
It’s OK to find yourself in circumstances which force you to do someone physical damage. “Rest in His Love and protect your rest by loving. But love everything He created, of which you are a part, or you cannot learn of His peace and accept His gift for yourself and as yourself.” (T-7.VII, A Course In Miracles)
© Katherine T Owen, 2009 Other spiritual poems on this site For an explanation of the release – It’s OK to...
For a discussion on the use of a spiritual quote |
Many of us tend to think of anger as not being OK. But anger can be a useful step forward in the seven stages of grief. We move from the numbness of denial to a willingness to fight. A sense of injustice can spur us on. A sense of injustice can make us determined not to give in because we are not going to let this or them beat us. We are going to keep fighting. I have heard it said: “If you feel pain, you know you are still alive.” If you are angry, you are feeling pain. Well done. You are still alive. When I was living with chronic illness, I felt angry about many things - I felt angry that no one came forward to look after me and I had to fight so hard to stay alive.
- I felt angry that life seemed to demand that I be more reasonable than those who were healthy and had less to deal with.
- I felt angry that whatever I did, I didn't seem to be able to get things set up so that I was looked after.
- I felt angry with myself for being ill!
It was hard for me to feel anger. It still is. I tend to judge myself for it. I did a lot of work on allowing myself to feel anger in order to move through this one of the seven stages of grief. If you are someone with a commitment to forgiveness, someone who finds it easy to understand the other's point of view, it may be worth doing some work on allowing yourself to feel anger. To learn to feel my anger, I used a technique I developed called The Release. Enter your email address below to download a FREE ebook from the site on The Release – A Practice of Forgiveness and Acceptance.
If you feel angry, right now, give yourself some space on your own and allow yourself to feel it. Allowing anger doesn't mean that you will necessarily communicate it to another, or tell someone that you feel angry with them. It is a private commitment to be a friend to yourself who says: | “With me, it is OK to feel angry. I love you when you feel angry. I love you when you feel calm. I love you however you feel.”
|
Is it wrong to feel angry? Feeling anger does not involve making a judgement about whether you are right or wrong about what you feel angry about. This is the first step. Your feelings are your feelings. They are not right or wrong.
As you feel your anger in a space of love and privacy ...you are less likely to express it badly with someone else. ...you get a clearer idea of what you are angry about. It might not be what you think. ...you get a clearer idea of who you are angry with. It might not be who you think. The atmosphere of love you provide for yourself allows the anger to lead beyond itself. Giving yourself permission to feel angry about feeling ill allows you to move more quickly through the seven stages of grief.
Move from The Seven Stages Of Grief: Anger to
the next article Bargaining
If you want more help on: How to cope with feelings of anger, move to
Motivational Poems – I See And I Accept Where I am Now.
A list of articles on The Seven Stages of Grief
|