They Dont Believe I Have An Illness
What Can I Do?
Disbelief And Illness
They Dont Believe Me follows on from and relates to
the Stages of Grief: Denial Illness
Contents for Disbelief And IllnessThey Dont Believe I Have An Illness: Disbelief And Illness, Lack Of Understanding What Can I Do About Disbelief and Illness? What Would You Like Someone To Say To Let You Know They Believe You?
Why would someone not believe you are ill?
Many who are ill, especially with
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/ CFS / M.E.
deal with lack of understanding or disbelief and illness. If this is the case for you, it may delay you from feeling your grief about being ill: - You may
deny
the illness by telling yourself the people who don't believe you are ill must be right:
“I can't be ill or they would believe me.”
- You may feel
angry
with the people who don't believe you.
“Why would I make this up?”
- You may
bargain
that when you become the best and most reasonable communicator in the world, they will believe you and everything will be OK.
You may switch between these early stages of grief – denial, anger and bargaining, and in this way you may avoid the very normal feelings of grief over being ill. - If you are experiencing disbelief in a time of illness, you may want to improve your communication skills.
I recommend: The Dance of Anger by Harriet Goldhor Lerner. Go to
my favourite books
to click through to see it on Amazon)
I also hear very good things about Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. - In my experience, there will be people who still dont believe you when you explain clearly and calmly. If you can't influence the other, it is worth looking at how you can influence yourself.
Ask yourself the following questions: Questions To ASk Yourself When They Dont Believe You
“Do I believe I am ill?
Yes/No Am I waiting for someone else to believe I am ill before I do?”
Yes/No “Am I willing to believe I am ill?”
Yes/No “Am I willing to feel the grief that comes with the knowledge that this is happening to me - I am living with illness?”
Yes/No |
| What would you like someone to say to you to let you know they understand and believe you are ill? Try saying it to yourself. - Look in a mirror and say it.
- Or imagine yourself in your mind standing in front of yourself and saying it to yourself.
- Commit to saying it 30 or 40 times a day.
- Most importantly, say it to yourself in the moment when you realise you need someone else to say it to you.
Learn to be your best friend, the friend you need, by saying:
“I know the truth about how you are right now.
I want you to tell me the truth.
I believe you.” Click here for another example of
positive self talk
when feeling ill.
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Disbelief and illness can go together because someone wants you to continue to play a certain role in their life.
Disbelief and illness can go together because your self-identity depends on playing a certain role in someone else's life.
Click through to learn about the many
family roles
that sickness does not allow you to play. Other Articles Relevant to They Dont Believe Me, IllnessThe next page:
Anger: The Second of the Seven Stages of Grief
A full list of
articles on Grief over illness.
A great site by my colleague for
Quotes about Moving On.
(http://www.daily-inspiration-quotes.com)
Disbelief and ME/CFS An excellent article by Toni Bernhard on Psychology Today:
The Stigma of CFS
Move to a highly recommended article on the site www.butyoudontlooksick.com about
the Spoon Theory.
How those of us with little energy or health have a certain number of spoons for each day. When they are gone, they are gone. Deeply moving.
Move from
They Dont Believe Me to the home page - A Practical Spirituality
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