How to deal with loneliness

Visitor's question on how to deal with loneliness:

"Katherine, What did you do when you felt alone and depressed?

Feeling lonely is not confined to those who are ill or without support.


"Feeling lonely can also be found in the average, everyday person with a job, good reliable friends & even a pretty firm Faith.

When it comes to it though, are we alone with our God in these moments of "anxiety & nervous exhaustion"?

Do we surrender to a beautiful presence...will Love surround us "in Faith's surrender"?"

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With love, Katherine

Answer from Katherine T Owen

Dear Shaun,
Thank you for your heartfelt question. Here are some tips from me on how to deal with loneliness.

1. Let go of judging yourself for feeling alone

Let go of any judgement of yourself that loneliness is wrong.

You can use a release statement to allow yourself to feel alone.
It's OK to feel alone.

And if you feel desolate, and I definitely did at times through the years of severe disablement, do your best to allow yourself to feel desolate.
It's OK to feel desolate.
It's OK to feel depressed.

2. Send a blessing to someone else who feels lonely

When you feel lonely you are feeling separate from other people. Praying for someone can help you to shift the focus from yourself and remember that you are not the only one having this experience.

By feeling compassion for another person you can more easily feel compassion for yourself.

Dear God,

I know there is someone out there who is also feeling lonely.
I send them love.

I ask that you reveal to them Your love and Your presence.
May they have a moment of knowing that they are one with You - a moment of knowing they can never be alone.
Thank you God.

3. Use affirmations to deal with loneliness

Here are some affirmations for how to deal with loneliness:

It's OK to feel lonely.
I love myself when I feel lonely.
I love myself when I enjoy the company of another.
I love myself when I enjoy my own company.
I love myself.

4. Know that feeling lonely is normal

In learning how to deal with loneliness, it can help to step back from the feeling and observe it. You can use positive self talk such as the following:

Oh look here’s loneliness again. 
This is normal.
I can allow it to be as it is.

There are a lot of people feeling loneliness.
I have felt lonely at times before and the feeling has passed.
This too will pass.

As you state so accurately in your letter, feeling lonely is not confined to those who are ill without support.
Feeling lonely is part of the human condition.

I delight in my own company and enjoy both solitude and human company.
Yet I can still feel lonely in the company of another person.

And I can still experience loneliness in illness at times.
(There is a loneliness in knowing that symptoms can not be understood by those who do not share them - though I am glad they don't!)

5. Consider the possibility of Spiritual loneliness - Press into God

I experience a profound spiritual loneliness at times - feeling that I'm missing God.
Although God, Spirit, Presence is part of my reality every day, there is this frustration at times at being a human being in a body, along with all the separation that implies.

I would say that loneliness is actually a very necessary step in the spiritual journey.
If we didn't feel this loneliness, would we really reach out to God?

A certain loneliness is often a spiritual loneliness– an awareness that our true home is to know ourselves fully as one with God.

When 'being in love' is at its most powerful, I believe it is because we are having a spiritual experience of seeing the true beauty of another person.

'Being in love' is an experience that comes from open-ess - allowing God's love to flow through us and therefore seeing God in everything and everyone we see.

Loneliness can motivate spiritual commitment

Being human is about the journey to explore something other than Oneness, to explore our apparent separation. Our challenge is to remember in the midst of it that we are One.

We learn that this void is not filled by human company, or is filled only temporarily.

And on some level we know this loneliness isn't our true entitlement.

We make a deeper and deeper spiritual commitment because we know there is more!

How to deal with loneliness? - Press into God

As you put so beautifully, we are alone with our God, and therefore we are not alone.

You answer your own question with your poetic phrase:

"Do we surrender to a beautiful presence...will Love surround us "in Faith's surrender?"
I join you in answering a big YES.

Read quotes about loneliness, along with comments about the page above.

Other articles relevant to how to deal with loneliness:

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For 14 years, Katherine T Owen was severely disabled with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, unable to walk, with little speech, and with inadequate care.

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