How To Learn Positive Self Talk
How To Be Kind To Myself

Learning positive self talk and how to be kind to myself helped me to build my sense of positive self worth during the the years of severe illness.

To learn how to be kind to yourself is essential for your sense of well being.
It contributes to emotional healing, mental healing and spiritual healing. I believe it can also help physical healing.

Click on the video below to listen to myself, Katherine Owen, talking in an interview about my alternative view on positivity.

Self Help Exercise:

How To Self Coach - How To Be Kind To Myself Whilst Living With Chronic Illness

1.  Take a piece of A4 paper and draw a vertical line down the middle.

2.  Does anyone say anything about you having an illness that annoys you?
Write it down on the left hand side of the paper.

NB. If you do not have an illness, just think of a time when someone says something about you that annoys you.

It may not be the exact words they use. What does it feel to you like they are saying?
(It doesn't matter if you are right or wrong about what they really think.)

3.  Which words would help you to feel safer, supported, encouraged and motivated?
If you were your own best friend, how would you talk to yourself?


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4.  On the right hand side of the page, write down this positive self talk.

5.  Adapt the words as needed to be even better matched to what you need.

6.  If when you talk kindly to yourself you use childlike words, this can be good.
Why can it be powerful to use childlike words when using self talk?
Because often our limiting beliefs and negative self talk were learned when we experienced someone as being negative about us when we were young.

7.  Look casually at the list of negative thoughts on the left hand side of the page. Now, with the intention of experiencing a belief change, read carefully the list of positive thoughts on the right hand side of the page.
Notice the different feelings which come up depending on which list you read.
Which self talk would you like to choose to talk to yourself?

8.  If you are ready to let go of negative beliefs about yourself, put a line through the negative beliefs on the left hand side of the page.

9.  Set aside a time each day when you will read the postive self talk to allow your mind to practise a new belief.
Set a time period to do this: for example 3 weeks.

10.  Is there someone in your life who triggers the negative thoughts?
If so, imagine the next time they might say the negative words.
Imagine pausing to think your new positive self talk.
Imagine a little smile on your face as you realise you can listen to yourself instead of to them.

11. If the negative thoughts are triggered without someone else being involved, let yourself identify the trigger for you to think these thoughts.
How do you know when to think the negative thought?
Is it a symptom in your body?
Is it the way you feel sometimes?
Imagine the next time that trigger happens and set it as a trigger to remind you to practise being kind to yourself instead.

12. If certain words produce a strong emotional response, these are the right words for you.
(The examples of positive thinking below continue to produce a strong emotional response in me.)

13. Say the words of positive self talk to yourself. Out loud is best.

14. It can be powerful to say positive words to yourself whilst looking in the mirror. You will find this refered to sometimes as mirror-work. Mirror work is spoken about in the book You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay.

15. You are your own best friend, your biggest supporter.
You are learning how to be kind to yourself.
Your self worth is growing every day.

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Examples of positive self talk

Here are some examples of positive self talk which might come from following the instructions above.

  1. Examples of negative self talk:
    How to identify a negative thought and develop the positive thought:

    Perhaps, as a result of what you were told or shown, you learned to believe
    "I shouldn't be ill.
    It's not convenient.
    I haven't time to be ill.
    Only weak people get ill."
    Write this self talk in the left hand column of your page.
  2. Examples of positive self talk:
    If you learned the above limiting beliefs, how could you be kind to yourself in ways that communicate the opposite belief. Examples would be:
    "It's ok to be ill.

    It's not your fault you are ill.

    I have time to be with you and look after you.

    It is easy for me to make time to be with you.
    You are important to me.
    Your health and well being are important to me.
    You are strong. I see your strength.

If you are living with illness, you are demonstrating amazing strength every day.

If you are on this website, you are probably keeping the hope of a health improvement or recovery alive. This takes such courage and perseverance. Well done.

Perhaps you are finding spiritual wisdom in this time of illness. This is a gift to everyone. How wonderful.

Stop and thank yourself for what you are doing to keep your heart open at this time. Thank you.

What do you need to hear right NOW.
Say it to yourself.
Be kind to yourself and learn to be your own best friend.

Thank you for reading this article.
And thank you for being here.

With the Love we are


Katherine T Owen, webmaster at
Author of Be Loved, Beloved (Kindle)
Owner of the zazzle HealingStore for delightful customized gifts.

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Be Loved

15 Spiritual Love Poems
God Love Self Love

(by the author of

For 14 years, Katherine T Owen was severely disabled with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, unable to walk, with little speech, and with inadequate care.

Katherine's small beautiful collection of poems take the reader with her as she journeys to know both self love and
God's love.

Be Loved Beloved. Cover for Kindle book of spiritual love poems.

If you don't have a kindle, you can download FREE software to read the kindle book on your computer.

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Be Loved Beloved

"One thing that struck me was the stripping of ego in the work. Most of us have a comfy ego façade, but weakness and disease tore Katherine’s away. The poems in Be Loved Beloved come from the heart."

Dana Taylor, Author of Ever-Flowing Streams: Tapping into Healing Energy

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