How to Forgive a Bully -
A Spiritual Approach to Healing

This article shares my spiritual solution on how to forgive a bully. It outlines a practical application of releasing judgement — the forgiveness practice I share in the e‑book available from this website at the time of writing.

Releasing judgement is the way I continue to process having grown up bullied by a sibling. Releasing judgement is the way I continue to process having grown up bullied at secondary school.

Releasing judgement is the way I survived 14 years bedbound with inadequate support, and carers, many of whom treated me with minimal kindness.

Releasing judgement is the way I survived when I shared a house with someone who wasn’t letting me rest and pace activity in the way needed to live well with the illness ME/CFS, so I was becoming more ill.

Contents for How to Forgive a Bully

• You might not read the whole article and that's ok
• How to use this article on how to forgive a bully
• Release judgement on being with what is
• Release judgement on any wanting to attack back
• Release judgement on not attacking back
• Release judgement on how it is if the bullying continues AND you feel some peace
• Recent Articles

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With love, Katherine

You might not read the whole article and that's ok

When I guide people one‑to‑one through releasing judgement, the results are powerful.

I’ve led a workshop where people released judgement, and the lightness in the Zoom room afterwards was palpable.

I’ve had over 3000 downloads of my book, and yet I’m guessing not many people are applying it to their everyday life.

I hope I’m mistaken, but when you read this page, I’m guessing most of you won’t get very far. It looks too heavy and intense. Plus I don’t fully explain releasing judgement here. You would need to download and read your copy of my free ebook on Releasing Judgment. (o/s link)

Plus it’s so ingrained in us that the solution to how to cope with bullying will come from doing something or saying something.

Being bullied is so physical. You are so at the effect of someone’s unfair treatment of you, and the idea of coping with bullying through a spiritual solution — let alone how to forgive a bully through a spiritual solution — can seem absurd.

But if willing, give it a go. Here is the article.

How to use this article on how to forgive a bully

For those of you who persevere, I suggest you don’t set out to read the whole page thoroughly.

Feel into how you feel about your situation of being bullied. Read through the page. Aim to find three or four sentences that provoke a strong emotion in you. Write them down somewhere.

Each time you experience being bullied, being treated badly, or experiencing powerlessness — even though it may feel totally irrelevant — read your chosen release statements, the statements starting “It’s OK to…”.

To the best of your ability, when you’re being bullied:

touch a moment of knowing, … even a micro moment, … even just a willingness to know, that you are profoundly innocent and profoundly loved, because this is the way you were made by your Creator.

How to forgive a bully | Release judgement on being with what is

Part of being with any process of forgiveness is to start where you are. 
This can involve forgiving yourself for the situation you are in. 
For many of us this proves to be the part of the forgiveness process we are missing.

You may have tried not to see clearly that you are being bullied. You may have tried not to feel feelings that let you know how bad it feels.

It’s OK that in a moment of being bullied, you see clearly that you are being bullied. It’s OK that in a moment of being bullied, you call it being bullied, to yourself at least.

It’s OK that in a moment of being bullied, you allow yourself to feel how you feel.
It’s OK that in a moment of being bullied, you allow yourself to see what you see.

It’s OK that in a moment of being bullied, you acknowledge how bad it is and give yourself sympathy.
It’s OK that in a moment of being bullied, you feel accepted with any judgement or feeling you have.

It’s OK that in a moment of being bullied, you realise you have tried everything you can, and nothing has worked.
It’s OK to have a moment of sitting with the possibility that the bullying will never end.

How to forgive a bully | Release judgement on any wanting to attack back

Chances are, you have already tried attacking back. If you’re still here, it probably didn’t stop the bully. Or it stopped the bully but didn’t bring you peace. Or you have a feeling another bully is going to show up in your life, because this pattern keeps repeating.

It’s OK to experience someone as being the enemy of your safety and well‑being.

It’s OK to feel hard done by. It’s OK to respond aggressively.
It’s OK to feel that any aggressive behaviour on your part is justified by the way you have been treated.

It’s OK to feel the only way the other will stop attacking you is if you attack them back.

It’s OK to find it easier to label someone as different from you and ‘wrong’ than to turn to address and resolve the internal bully.

How to forgive a bully | Release judgement on not attacking back

It’s OK to experience someone as being the enemy of your safety and well‑being.
It’s OK to feel hard done by.

It’s OK to respond by trying to manage the bully’s moods.
It’s OK to find that anticipation, cooperation, and manipulation bring some quieter times and are better than the alternative.

It’s OK to have found that attacking back leads to even more pain than putting up with bullying.

It’s OK to believe that doing nothing is not a failure but the best solution for now.
It’s OK to acknowledge your powerlessness in the world and set out to resolve the internal bully.

How to forgive a bully | Release judgement on how it is if the bullying continues AND you feel some peace

Here you release judgement on feeling at peace, to remove any potential blocks to feeling peace.

It’s OK that in a moment of being bullied, you touch a moment of knowing peace continues.
It’s OK that in a moment of being bullied, you touch a moment of safety and well‑being, and realise that even when your body isn’t safe, this spiritual safety and well‑being continues. The other person hasn’t taken this from you.

It’s OK that in a moment of being treated badly you have a moment of feeling deep love for yourself.
It’s OK that in a moment of being treated badly you have the astonishing thought that the one who bullies is a child of God.
It’s OK that in a moment of being treated badly you have the thought that you are a child of God.

It’s OK to have a moment of experiencing the bully as here to reveal your internal world.

• Forgiveness of a terrorist — healing conflict within
• A spiritual prayer to bless a potential terrorist with insight so that, in the knowledge of love, they drop the need to attack. You can adapt it as a prayer for someone who is attacking you in your personal life.
• How to forgive someone who has invaded your space — forgiving boundary intrusion

Thank you for reading this article.
And thank you for being here.

With the Love we are,

Katherine

Katherine T Owen, webmaster at
www.a-spiritual-journey-of-healing.com
Author of Be Loved, Beloved (£1 or $1 approx on Kindle)
Owner of the zazzle HealingStore for delightful customized gifts.

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